Out On A Limb

I quit my job today.

In a down economy.

With no other job offers on the table.

Yup.

What would drive a man to such madness? Why would I put the financial stability of my family at risk? Heck - we just found out we’re going to have another baby, and here I am throwing away a perfectly good job which provides for my family and allows my wife to stay home.

The answer may sound a bit off to you. I have no 12-step plan. I have no idea what 2010 looks like. All I know is that I need to do something different — for my health and for my family.

In 2009, I realized that I was turning into a divorcee dad — seeing my kid on weekends only (she wakes up after I leave for work and goes to bed before I get home). And heaven forbid I ever want to head out on the weekend and go camping or climbing — that cuts my “visitation hours” to one day a week or less. What good am I to my little girl if she sees me so little? What good am I to my wife if I’m not there to help her raise our family? I was coming home tired, exhausted, and completely unable to help.

This is very different than our lives when we were first married. I remember when we made very little money and had a crappy apartment, yet were content just sitting on the couch together. We didn’t need anything else. Kinda reminds me of this song:

Newly married, new apartment
All our furniture was saved from the dump
Yes dear maybe we can afford a trashcan next month

All I need is my love for you and a seat for two

New baby new life
We will teach him to speak French
Weve got no money so well make it all ourselves
Ill make the curtains and you make the shelves

All I need is a power saw and a new sewing machine

Honey, this house needs a little something
That bare mantle doesnt look so good
Someone told me of a man
Who makes animals from driftwood

All I need is your monthly bonus for a wooden walrus

Honey, the Colbaughs are coming over
This house needs some renovations
Just a wall or two, just a little room
And a few new decorations

All I need is a sectional and a satellite TV
and dark-wood cabinets that were custom built for me
and a painting by that guy that paints with his feet…

Thats all I need
For now

I don’t want to live like that, but I see us starting to follow this (rather depressing) pattern… I’m not saying that I’m going to force my family into a shack to be happy, but I definitely feel like we need to do something radically different … and fast. I don’t want to wake up 20 years from now and realize I’ve missed out on the best years of our life together. Of course I want my daughter to have a big house and a big yard and a puppy … but not at the expense of me not being there.

For 2010, I want to do everything in my power to be a better father to my daughter. If that means leaving my cushy job and promising career, so be it.

For 2010, I want to be a better husband. If that means working from home with a 50% pay cut so that I can do more dishes and change more diapers, so be it. My wife will get my best — not what’s left over at the end of the day.

Could I fail? Absolutely. Could I find myself in 6 months, still unemployed and living at my in-laws, cruising Craigslist in my pajamas? Yup. But thank God I married a woman who not only gets all the things I’ve just told you, but who’s willing to love and support me through this transition. For this, I am truly blessed. And for her, I’ll do just about anything.