So We’re … Homeschooling?

So, we’ve started homeschooling our our two oldest kids. Now, your first response to that statement, is either one of abhorrence, exhilaration, or maybe even confusion. I usually have two camps of people in my life that think, either home educating is crazy, or they absolutely love it. I actually feel quite blessed to be surrounded by multiple perspectives.

When we first moved to Oklahoma, I was amazed how many people homeschooled, from “unschooling” to more rigorous curriculum. It really had never crossed my mind to be a part of that discussion. Let’s say I’ve always appreciated homeschooling more in theory than reality. Both Jon and I had stints in homeschool, but neither lasted very long. Our parents generously paid for our private schools. I cherish our experiences, however, as a parent, you’re faced with all sorts of decisions regarding your children. How come no one ever told me that prior to having these precious littles! :)

Most of the time I agonize over things related to my kids. I honestly struggle with “getting things right” syndrome. When coupled with “caring too much what others think” disease, it can be a wicked combo. With that in mind, homeschooling never seemed like a good fit for me. Well, then First grade came.

Ava loved school, and so did we. She did quite well in Kindergarden and was very excited about first grade. As the weeks passed, we saw a growing change in how Ava regarded school, learning, and well, most things. What was once a spark for learning, was now gone. Our Ava is also quite a chameleon; which is something that is amazing and tricky to navigate. She absorbs both great and ugly things from those around her. I’m not ok with a six year old, acting like a very ugly teenager. Oh, the challenging discussions and moments we had and am sure will continue to have.

Now, I recognize that First grade is different from Kindergarden. I’m not advocating homeschooling for complete sheltering of children from hard things. However, I don’t want my kids to ever hate learning, estrange relationships with family, or not want to go to school all at age six. There is plenty of time later in life to be miserable — six years old is not that time.

First grade really was never the problem, but was certainly the impetus for the discussion in our home. I found the balance of my fears versus my values finally shifting in favor of what I value. So with many conversations, prayers, and a giant deep breath of faith, Jon and I decided to pull Ava out of school and jump in to the First grade at home.

Homeschooling isn’t for everyone. Many cannot, due to circumstances. Many do not want to touch it at all. Both are completely fine. There will never be judgement here. I just know for us, at this time, it’s what’s right and good for us. I feel completely blessed to be able to do it. These three things really drove the decision for me:

1. Instilling a sense of curiosity and wonder about life and learning. It doesn’t have to be horrid.
2. Building lasting relationships with our family.
3. Time. I get the gift of investing more time in my kids and as a family.

So, the first couple of weeks have been exactly what I thought and nothing what I thought, all at the same time. I was afraid Ava and I would be at each other at all times. Though we’ve had our moments , we both are building our patience toward each other and “school time.” Somedays I go in kicking and screaming, some days I jump all in. Somedays, Sesame Street has to teach my kids or I may scream. It is joyous chaos.

My favorite discovery so far, is how much capacity I do have in relation to my kids and how much they, in turn, enjoy each other. Every opportunity is a learning opportunity, and for that I am grateful. We may homeschool forever, we may only last a year. Only God knows, and we’ll take His lead as we go. For now, I’m grateful for this time.